Download audio file (!I’m at Home.mp3)

I wrote this app to create ambient sounds in your house while you are gone. Just launch it and select how big your house is with what appliances and pets you have. It creates the random noises that matches your property. Dishwasher, vacuuming, somebody doing laundry, people visiting furnished with clinking plates, glasses, silverware, and pets playing in the background.

If the drapes are closed and this is running, there’s no crook that will break into your house. A lot cheaper than a 3 year contract with ADT!

Click here to see the interface: I’m @ Home

Patent pending.

Download audio file (!dcryptr.mp3)

This is an app I wrote so parents could decipher what their kids were texting to each other.

Here’s the link to all the details: d!Crypt’r

Patent pending.

Download audio file (!SmallGroup.mp3)

Small Group…

INT. SEVERAL MEN SITTING AROUND IN A CIRCLE OF CHAIRS LOOKING NERVOUS IN A COUNSELOR’S OFFICE.
The CAMERA slowly pulls back and shows the different reactions of the men in the group. Nobody looks comfortable. The office is quite sparse, there are books on a bookcase, video tapes mixed in and posters on the walls depicting what people should feel like when they feel certain emotions. There is a small pillow on the floor with a box of tissue on it.
Some of the men look scared, high, fidgety, and some look like they don’t even want to be there.
The door to the office opens and a bald military looking man walks in with authority. He’s wearing a tie and is sizing the group up, very slowly.

GARY
My name is Gary. We are going to start with feelings today. Feelings aren’t defined as anger, happiness, sadness, being afraid, or ashamed. Resentments, depression, inadequacies, guilt, or anxiety. Is not what we’re going to talk about. For example, anger is better described as displeased or irritated. Look at the pictures on the wall to describe how you feel. There are a few ground rules, everyday we take turns reading from the thoughts from the day book. If somebody starts to cry, do not hand them the box of tissue. And if you feel somebody is bullshitting,throw the bullshit pillow at them. But, you have to explain why they are bullshitting and listen to their answer. One more thing, there will be no physical contact, auguring is fine, but nobody touches anybody. Got it?
GARY POINTS AT THE PICTURES AT THE WALL.

Do you see the expressions on these faces? That’s how we are going to describe how feel. Jonathan, can we start with you?

JOHNATHAN
Um, well, I feel, sullen, withdrawn and frustrated.

GARY
Why do you feel this way?

JOHNATHAN
I don’t want to be here. I don’t have a problem and my wife made me come to save our married.

GARY
David? How about you?

DAVID
I feel pretty good. I’m excited to be here, and I’m looking forward to meeting new people. I am a little apprehensive though, I don’t know the types of folks I’m going to meet.

(WE need more input from the rest of the group here.)

GARY
We will be keeping daily focused journals. This will help you consolidate what you learn in treatment and help you become aware of feelings you might be experiencing. This will also helps your me as your counselor be aware of what might be occurring within you. These daily journals will also help you rate how anxious, depressed, hopeful, accepting, and trusting you feel on a day to day basis. Resent, shame and guilt should also be discussed.

DREAM SEQUENCE
I had a dream last night. All the men in the hall were in it. It seemed like a reality TV show where if we all stuck together were would win the prize (prize unknown.). In the dream, we were standing in a line and either disoriented or drugged to the point where we were conscience but incoherent, then the torture began. The goal was to endure as much pain that was inflicted for the groups sake. Each of us went through this, and since we were drugged, we did not know what we were saying through the torture.
After the “event”, a video was played back to reveal to each of us what we said and did during the torture. The results revealed that we all folded under the pressure. There wasn’t a one that stuck it out for the team. We all relented.
We collectively lost. I don’t know what this means, but I have a few ideas:
1. We are all selfish. We are not team players.
2. We are all posers – we are not part of a group.
3. We are all vulnerable and cannot fight the same thing. We’re losers at the cost of others to save our own asses.

I SPOKE WITH MY CHILDREN TONIGHT
They said they missed me and that my birthday present was going to be late. This pushed me over the edge, not that I wouldn’t get their gift, but because I missed them terribly. This was my first birthday I would not spend with them. They said they wanted me to come home soon. They wanted me there for Christmas. I can only imaging how I will fell when my birthday present comes, Christmas passes, and my daughter’s tenth birthday passes. This is the most shitty thing I’ve had to deal with in my life to date.
I wanted so bad to pack up my shit and get the fuck out of here, but I won’t – I’m going to stick this out. I will be a new and better Father. Did I make the right decision? At this point, I think not.
I’m not going to go into the details of why or why not I came here, we all know why, we all know how fucked up I am.
Enough of the self serving pity. This is where the fun begins.

ANOTHER DREAM
I had another dream last night. I was working on a big project. I was building a house. I was at a critical point in the project that could not be disrupted w/o huge negative circumstances. My wife showed up and made it very clear to me that she did nod not to get back together. She admitted to me that she did not come up to the decision on her own, her family instructed her that I was not available enough to her. For some reason I felt compelled to put a hold on the house project. This mitigated the point that people were standing around doing nothing anyway. This was costing me thousands. I tried to convince her to stay. After much discussion, she agreed to come back.

Today I realized that this program has less…

JUST A TASTE OF THE SCREENPLAY THAT’S ALMOST DONE!

Download audio file (!Hand3.mp3)

Final Treatment…

Click the image below to be navigated to the site.

I’ll kick it into gear in the spring of 2010 after I hook up with some local farmers.

*Crafted by hand with spirit! Tomatoes, Green Chiles, Green Onions, Red Onions, Lemons, Limes, EVOO, Garlic, Red Jalapenos, Bell Peppers, Tomatillos, Specialty Peppers, Sea Salt and the secret ingredient that ties it all together.*

For anyone that tried it, can you please provide feedback? Don’t hold back either. I’ve been working on this recipe for more than 20 years. I would appreciate any and all criticism to make it better. – Thanks!

Download audio file (TD.mp3)

Inverse haptic sensory skin with the elasticity to conform to any musculature. Any pigment imaginable at
any wavelength, with a wide variety of textures. Substrates are also available with an array of hair coarseness. Hair pigmentation also available at any wavelength. Patented MDT technology ensures a constant temperature deviation in all environments which mimic the flesh of any living creature. Blemishes included if you wish.  Sentient creature skin response also available.

All ThermalDerma material interface with the current Moore’s Law specification including many of the imminent reverse technological singularities in development today which encompass self learning and omnipotent systems. With this recent breakthrough, the skin will grow and learn based on it’s environment. We have several laboratory models available that were invented by themselves alone, it is quite possible that under the right circumstances, your implementation of TD may be a new creation!*

ThermalDerma can be tattooed and pierced.*